It is so easy to go through the motions of the day. See the same people you always see and let moments of opportunity pass you by. It's that time in the year again where I begin reflecting on months passed by and I start analyzing the good, the bad, and the ugly. I walked into the bathroom this morning. I saw a few girls that reside in the same hall as me. Natural response, "hey, how are you?"...but as I continued my journey to the stall I wanted to ask something deeper, "truly, what's going on in your life?"..."who is someone that has impacted your life, why do you look up to them?"...
I flushed the toilet, left the stall, and did nothing.
And I sit here days later, analyzing my actions and thoughts, and am appaulled by my lack of willingness to be used by God lately. I am such a selfish being, and I am so aware. God makes me so aware and convicts me nearly every time. Where is my head lately? I feel like it's in the clouds just floating along. I feel stifled by the enemy.
I feel like I'm caught in a rip tide that keeps getting pushed further out in the abyss and the shore is slipping out of sight. But then the Lord gives me verses like in James where it says "may the testing of your faith produce endurance. Endurance must do its complete work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing". Hope.
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