He is Enough

One of my biggest things lately...well there's a few...but one of them is living a lifestyle of thanksgiving. 


I've been so convicted lately about my lack of thankfulness.  The Lord is so good, and no matter the circumstances I should be thankful and praising His name, because goodness knows He has already worked it out to bring Himself glory-and shouldn't that be enough?


I'm not quite sure what my deal is, but lately everything brings me to tears.  I was telling Brett today on our car ride to La Jolla about a story of something that occurred at work last night and I was overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord.  The Lord's faithfulness, provision, and just goodness in general has overtaken me and the result-tears of joy.  Work has been such an incredible opportunity for me to live out what I say I believe (James 1:22-24 status).  Praise God for His provision!!! 




 1.      the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment ofbenefits or favors, esp. to god.

2.

an expression of thanks, esp. to God.

3.

a public celebration in acknowledgment of divine favor orkindness.

4.

a day set apart for giving thanks to God.

Home, I'm ready for you.

I don't know how I continually get to this point, time and time again.  The point where I realize that I have been trying to manage to get by in life on my own, days where I forget to surrender and give my flesh to the Lord. 


Praise God for His grace though!!! Immeasurable, unattainable, but continual grace....that is so undeserving but thats what makes it such an incredible gift. 


When life gets busy, my time with the Lord dwindles...which means everything else starts to wilt as well. Im in that spot again, but so thankful that in 2 weeks, 2 weeks from today to be exact I get to go home.  I get to escape from the routine for a while and spend as much time with the Lord as I want.  I won't be busy with school, work, and other such obligations...ahh I'm so excited. I pray the Lord teaches me to seek Him even in the crazy times....


Ive been told numerous times that I won't always have time to spend as much "time" with the Lord as I need or want or He deserves...but that I just have to walk in the spirit throughout the day, and pray without ceasing. And I get that...and I hear where those people are coming from...but if you know anything at all about me, you know that I love one on one time-quality time, that is intimately and deeply spent. I need actual tangible time to sit and rest at the feet of my Savior and dwell in His goodness. 


Home, I'm ready for you. 

Not My Will but Thine

I don't know about you but what I desire to "be" when I "grow up" continually changes...


When I was 8 I wanted to be a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner...(however you might spell that)...then an Optometrist (aka an eye doctor)...then a Nascar driver (speed is fun)...then at one point I thought about being a teacher (then I realized I wouldn't have a subject to teach)...owning a business sounded fun, or working my way up, either way (this has been the most recent goal)...


I never cease to be amazed at how the Lord changes the desires of our hearts as we grow in our relationship with Him. I love when my will or what I think is my will, aligns with His...and His desires and my desires begin to mesh beautifully together. My latest aspiration is to work until I have a child...then my child becomes my work. I want to be an amazing mother that cooks fabulous meals and invites old dear friends over to fellowship with. I want to laugh with them, cry with them, pray with them...serve my husband, pray for my family so devotedly...


I know it won't always be a perfect picture, or easy by any means, but all the more reason to cling together with the Lord as our guide (James 1:2-4). Today in chapel we talked about what it looks like to be a godly woman and I left just so encouraged and empowered to spend more time in the word and more time on my knees before the Lord. I hope you got the same. 


I pray the Lord uses me to be a Proverbs 31 woman...

The Escape

 The welcoming of a familiar face...the embrace of a dear friend...the familiar face anticipating every need I might have...my favorite little table-the one in the corner that sits unusually high but gets the greatest view...the warm lighting that makes any stranger feel at home...the specifically chosen music that perfectly illustrates the uniqueness of each individual behind the counter...


This place is much more than a coffee shop, it is near and dear to my heart. I have gathered here with my friends over the past eight years and when I allow my mind to be consumed by it I see a real of film playing through the different scenes and emotions. When life's crazy antics become too pressing-I escape.  This place is one full of endearment from those behind the counter to the those whom I am blessed to be accompanied by. This place has served as a medium for amazing times spent with lifelong friends, endless times filled with laughter, the inescapable tears of joy and tears of heartache, a place where I can study for those too long procrastinated assignments, a place where when I am burdened by so many thoughts swirling through my head I can escape and pound them out in the movement of my wrist along the pages...this place consumes my thoughts with incredibly blessed memories. This place is more than just a coffee shop, it is a fond memory. A memory filled with memories...of years gone by. 


This place is much more than a coffee shop, you have served your community well.  You provided a venue for intimate and personal encounters, with an endearing connection from those behind the counter to those whom walk through the door.  Never lose that. 


Sometimes people ask me why I go there so often, and so one day I finally sat down and really thought about it.  I now know why...

Chiseled

It has been far too long, and that is all I have to say about that.

Life, what God's been up to, the challenges, the encouragements, the love, the people...the endless life lessons....lately I feel as though I am a little piece of wood being chiseled away by God's whittle.  I have no clue where to begin to write because it has been, as said above, far too long...so for some reason I feel led to just give the key words/phrases....

-My souls depravity=making me so aware of my need for God
-The more God uses me for the purpose of others, the less selfish I become
-Selfishness vs Selflessness
-Pure love, unconditional love, free of expectations/achievements
-Learning more and more each day lived is not about me or what I may think I want
-Pray without ceasing
-Process of sanctification
-Awareness of the battle and eternity that souls may spend in hell if intentionality isn't lived out, not that I can bring salvation, but God can use me to plant seeds to bring others to that point of desperation for Christ in their lives
-Life in private matching life in public, but really...life in public matching life in private (think about that one)....so often the emphasis is put on how much sin & depravity we live out when we are in private that we would never publicly make aware....however, what if the emphasis was put on how we live out life publicly matching how we live privately...I feel like that is more of a "hope" statement...if you live your life publicly loving on others and praying, demonstrating selflessness and generosity for others to see, but  in private you are seeking self-gratification, etc....I don't know...it makes sense in my head
-member those cheesy WWJD bracelets...man, that thought carries so much weight with me lately...seriously, in EVERY situation if I take the time to consider what Jesus would have done or how He would have responded....hmmm

Until next time.
Live life intentionally.
Love others.
Pray constantly.

Friday, June 11th

A journal entry that brought forth reflection...usually it's the opposite ;) please read...

Last Friday, June 11th we woke bright and early and you drove 4 1/2 hours south and I drove 5 hours north with the parentals. The day was perfect. Location did not matter, all I wanted was to be with you, in your presence, spending time together. We could have been in the middle of the desert and I would have been just as excited! It took a little to find you, nerves built, anxiety set in, then, in the middle of the baseball parking lot, there you were! More handsome than ever, and I fell more in love with you. The rest of the details of the day begin to run together in my mind, but we held hands like giddy 13 year olds holding hands with their first boyfriend/girlfriend. I pray we never lose that. We smiled, and laughed, you held me close, you provided for me, I couldn't get enough of your presence-of your love. I was so gluttonous, ha! And as the day came to a close we met up with my parents in the 'Italian District' in St. Louie called The Hill. We all ate dinner, and conversed, but we all knew the time was coming for us to separate again but noone was going to say it. We held hands under the table. For me, I wanted to hold onto every last bit of you that I could up till that final moment.

Time progressed and there we were, two young kids in love, walking along the streetside, awaiting the inevitable. We held hands, we held eachother, you gave me a piggy back ride and I kissed your cheek right by your little mole that I adore. Time to go. It was a great day. I love you sweetheart until next time our paths cross, which who knows, only God!

....Now as I wrote that in my journal, I became convicted...that love that I have for Brett..that anxiousness to spend time with him, where I didn't care where I was or what I was doing, that I just wanted to be in his presence and so desparately spend time with him...I sometimes lose sight of that with the Lord. I sometimes lose sight of that with Brett too though. And once again, God brought me to my knees and I fell more in love with Him. He began through that conviction to re-priortize His place in my life, and for that I am so thankful. I never want to be more in love with anything or anyone more than I am with the Lover and Savior of my soul!!

"The Heart Set To Do The Father's Will Need Never Fear Defeat"

This past year has been nothing but a whirlwind and fluctuation of emotions, thoughts, occuring events...but one thing always remains constant, my God.  Summer allows for some time to unwind from the rigorous day to day schedule that can be seemingly mundane.  Not really sure what I will do without a summer break after I graduate next year, I have had one for the past 17 years of my life...hmm.

I am currently reading "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot, if you have not already read this book you should (male or female), its grand.  Some quotes from the book that perhaps will heighten your level of intrigue...

        "If there is an Enemy of Souls (and I have not the slighest doubt that there is), one thing he cannot abide is the desire for purity. Hence a man or woman's passions become his battleground...The Lover of Souls does not prevent this....He wants us to learn to use our weapons."

        "Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His Lordship."

        "If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad."

hmm more to come